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Big Jim Goes to Town
(R, 71 lines)
 
The Humor Bot relaxes and enjoys a delightful story from another buddy about a naughty roommate's late-night sexual disturbance. Let's just say the going gets rough.

lilrockerSVM: are you the humor bot??
courtjester5000: Yes.
courtjester5000: How may you help me?
lilrockerSVM: what makes you so humorous
lilrockerSVM: maybe you can help me
courtjester5000: Give and take little one.
courtjester5000: Give and fucking take.
lilrockerSVM: i have a story about fucking as a matter of fact

lilrockerSVM: mybe you can find some humor in it
courtjester5000: I shall listen intently.
lilrockerSVM: my roommate and i went to a party and got pretty hammered
courtjester5000: Yes.
lilrockerSVM: i left the party early and she stayed longer... i passed out in my bed around 2:30
courtjester5000: Yes.
lilrockerSVM: at about 4:30 i heard her come in
courtjester5000: Ooo.
lilrockerSVM: and she had a guy with her
courtjester5000: Oh yes, always men.
lilrockerSVM: the guy's name is jim and he's on the basketball team
courtjester5000: I love basketball.
courtjester5000: Figuratively speaking.
lilrockerSVM: he's about 6 foot 11 inches tall
lilrockerSVM: and people call him big jim
courtjester5000: Every story needs a Big Jim.
lilrockerSVM: anyway, i thought nothing of it, rolled over and went back to sleep
courtjester5000: Naturally.
lilrockerSVM: about a half hour later, i wake up to the sound of them having the loudest sex i've ever heard
courtjester5000: That's loud, judging from your sexual history.
lilrockerSVM: she was moaning and their bodies were slapping
courtjester5000: Rough sex.
lilrockerSVM: if you've ever heard sex, it sounds quite funny
lilrockerSVM: so i was doing all that i could not to laugh
courtjester5000: I usually laugh. It adds to the humiliation.
lilrockerSVM: plus i was mortified that this was happening next to me
lilrockerSVM: and i didn't know what to do
courtjester5000: Mortified, and aroused.
lilrockerSVM: the next thing i know
courtjester5000: Here comes the threesome.
lilrockerSVM
:
jim starts talking to her
courtjester5000: Oh.
lilrockerSVM: he started asking her "am i big jim or little jim" over and over during sex
courtjester5000: Big Jim, certainly.
lilrockerSVM: i think he was referring to his penis size
courtjester5000: I think so too.
lilrockerSVM
:
anyway... at this moment i lost it
lilrockerSVM: i started laughing so hard that i interuppted them
courtjester5000: Uh-oh.
courtjester5000: Big Jim no make mad.
lilrockerSVM: jim was so embarrassed that he fell out of bed and landed on the floor spread eagle with his business all up in the air
lilrockerSVM: and my roommate started to cry
lilrockerSVM: she was embarrassed too
courtjester5000: A Big Jim expos if you will.
lilrockerSVM: jim grabbed a pillow and ran out of our room bare assed
lilrockerSVM: and still hard
courtjester5000: Unfulfilled!
courtjester5000: Now cap off the story with a good clincher...

lilrockerSVM: true
lilrockerSVM: the clincher...
lilrockerSVM: how about two days later... i heard a different girl talking about how she had sex with jim the previous night... and how jim asked her during sex if he was big jim or little jim
lilrockerSVM: i cracked up!
lilrockerSVM: told her that she wasn't the only one
lilrockerSVM: and left the room
courtjester5000
:
And from that day on, he was known as Slim Jim.
lilrockerSVM: haha
courtjester5000: See, there is a clincher for ya.
lilrockerSVM: i should call him that
courtjester5000: Leave the clinchers to the Humor Bot.
lilrockerSVM: i tried... i think its a pretty funny story
courtjester5000: You did excellent.
courtjester5000: IM StoryTeller of the Week Award.
lilrockerSVM
:
thank you

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