5 Players Who Should Be Pitching Tonight Instead of My Stepson Damien
It seems like Coach Johnson is completely willing to jeopardize the season by starting my stepson Damien, noted for embarrassingly once giving up 8 runs in a half inning.
Tag: Sports
The Art of Head Faking Your Boss
With boss man bearing down on you, tilt your head to the left. His head will follow yours. Wait ten seconds. Hold the tilt like you would an ice cream cone.
SportsCenter Reviews the Most Embarrassing Moments of My Year
Hello and welcome to our review of last season's most embarrassing moments! First off, Seth Mallard's sudden and unexpected match-up against his long-time ex-girlfriend Lara Liu in Trader Joe's.
Not Born on Third Base, But Reached on a Fielder’s Choice
Some people were born on third base and thought they hit a triple. Other people, who thought they hit a triple, were born on first base. Consider how you got here in life.
You’d Play Golf Too If You Were Trying to Ignore the Suffering of Millions of People
Get lots of bad press for golf, bad, but you’d spend most of your time golfing too if you were trying to distract yourself from everyone’s problems.
Kim Jong Un’s Inspiring Halftime Speech After a Failed Missile Test
"You really think you deserve to destroy America after a test like that? My father and grandfather are rolling in their graves right now at the thought."
Do You Have the Security Clearance Required to Tell Rob Gronkowski the Real Truth About the Centauri UFO Landing of 1966?
Have you received unexpected pizza deliveries with notes attached: "Tell Rob Gronkowski and you’ll be sorry"? If so, you have the necessary clearance.
I Am Become Kiss Cam Operator, The Destroyer of Worlds
You shall witness a heart shape on the monitor, surrounding you and your beloved. And you shall kiss. For I have commanded it.
5 Reasons Why I Will Continue to Give All I Have Coaching Water Polo to Youth
I stay up nights worried that my boys will not strive to be anything more than the chairman of the board of directors for a Fortune 500 trans-Atlantic conglomerate.
13 Signs Jerry Jones Formed a Pact with Satan
Something extremely odd and unsettling happened with the Cowboys this year. We all know what, but the question is "HOW??"
Snowboarding 101: A Crash Course for Beginners
Assuming you make it to the top of the mountain, strap yourself into your deathboard, making sure you have no feeling in your feet, then just go for it dude.
My High School Football Halftime Championship Speech
It ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. I know because my cousin operates an underground dog fighting ring.