Dreams Interpreted By Your Aunt From Massachusetts
Falling: Your subconscious is saying that you need to go back to school or enlist. You’re falling away from your stupid wakeboarding career.
Tag: Sleep
Hair Loss Got You Down? Try the Mountain Hermit Cure
Where are all the people who keep saying you look like Dr. Evil? Who cares! You have to survive a -40 degree blizzard by finding a cave to sleep in!
The Harrowing Tale of Going 52 Hours Without a Phone
I’m outside now, walking to the nearby pizza shop. There are people everywhere, so many of them, crawling all over the place.
Optimize Your Originality by Copying Famous Creatives’ Daily Habits
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804): Awoken by spousal uppercut at 6:30, the philosopher began an impressive washing regimen; Kant felt his mind was sharpened by pouring pitchers of cold water over himself.
A Conversation Pretending I Know What a Mortgage Is
Claire, who had 14 bridesmaids, each of whom eats half of their late night Chicken Fajita wrap treat and puts the other in the fridge: “Wait, what?”
I Am the Woman Who Bakes Brownies for Her Coworkers on a Weeknight, and My Life is Definitely Not Crumbling Before My Eyes
I made the brownies with one hand while reading for my ChickLits book club. Sleep is a societal construct! I think I’m starting to hallucinate.
“Sopranos” Episodes I Saw in a Fever Dream
"Have You Heard About This," Season 2: Paulie’s foray into the world of standup comedy compromises his ability to earn for the business.
4 Times I Failed My Driving Test Because I Tried to Bring My Examiner to Busch Gardens
What’s the bigger crime: abducting a federal worker or letting someone live without riding Apollo’s Chariot, one of the Garden’s 8 coasters?
The New Adopt-a-Writer Program
Frederik (42, Breed: Poet (Non-Rhyming)) Frederik thinks he’s better than all the other writers at the shelter.
So, You Thought You Could Just Buy That Thrift Store Jacket Without Consequences? You Fool!
Did you consider that maybe the cookie-cake-related dream had something to do with the jacket that says “Great American Cookie Company” on the back?
The Awful Male Lead in a Rom-Com is Caught After Lying the Entire Movie
The forces of nature want us to be together until we die or I get bored, and here "forces of nature" means things I deliberately orchestrated.
Four Signs You’re Dating a Shovel
"They love dirt" At first, it was sweet. "They really care about the Earth," you thought. But now you can't tear them away from the stuff.