Mealtime Hacks That Guarantee Your Child Will Be a 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals Judge
If he really needs a birthday cake, make him an energy-boosting quinoa and oatmeal cake with sample questions from the LSAT written in marzipan.
Tag: School
Exciting New Products at Trader Joe’s
Right next to the cookie butter, inexpensive wine, and cow bell that our employees ring for no reason, you'll find all of our newest goodies.
Other Secret and Torrid Fictional Relationships You Might Have Forgotten
Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum: There never was a murder, these two just needed to get away from their bridge club to whisper sweet nothings.
The Top 5 Online Masters Programs for When You’ve Given Up on Your Dreams
Masters in Accounting: Think about how much fun you have filing your taxes every year and imagine getting to do that every day!
Colonel Sanders Was a Union Officer and Will Therefore Not Be Cancelled
Sanders graduated from Transylvania University with honors in Afro-Caribbean Studies, Women and Sexuality Studies, and Herbalism ‘n’ Spicesism.
The New Adopt-a-Writer Program
Frederik (42, Breed: Poet (Non-Rhyming)) Frederik thinks he’s better than all the other writers at the shelter.
Welcome to Nextdoor Fight Club, Where You Must Turn Every Topic into a Fight
Rule 3. There are no limits to the number of people in a fight. The nature of our discussion board means that 15-100 people will typically join in.
I’m Worried I’ll Never Get Around to Using All These Good Band Names
My dream came so close to fruition my senior year in college, when my roommate Jim and I started a “pop-thresh garage-inflected post-grunge” band.
Don’t Forget: Everyone Moves At Their Own Pace But You Are Still Undeniably Behind
You can’t even invite people over to your disgusting apartment? Jorge has a beautiful apartment and he doesn’t share it with four “artists.”
If You Turn Into a Werewolf During a Parent-Teacher Conference
If you cannot make it home to your reinforced "Doom Room", attempt to run toward the nearest forest or wooded area.
Ten Classic Books Everyone Should Pretend to Read
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare: The classic love story. It’s a famous… I want to say play? I’ve only seen the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio.
My Mother Watches the Oscars With Me
Oh, Christian Bale, nominated for playing a 60-year-old man with a potbelly who only thinks about himself. Your father could have played that role.