My Entirely Intellectual and Not at All Emotional Reasons for Watching “The Bachelor”
I’m interested in analyzing the importance of “opening up” via “crying” and how this plays into our fantasies of ideal womanhood.
Tag: Satire
My Instagram Alter Ego Is Alive and She Is Pissed
You should know that the only reason I’m smiling right now is because that’s all you’ve taught me to do.
All Hail Aegeus II, the New Vermin Overlord of What Used to Be My Apartment
Long Live Supreme Leader Aegeus! May your light forever shine over your kingdom that is this fifth-floor walk up!
Questions You, My Spouse, Are Likely to Have about My Brave Decision to Start a Podcast
"For real, what will it cost?" Well, it's not a cost per se, but there is will be a very small upfront investment… just to start.
We at Disney Couldn’t Be Prouder to Show Our Commitment to Representation with 9 More Easily-Missable LGBTQ Characters
This moment in the film may not be noticeable, but you bet your ass we’ll talk about it on the press tour like we threw the first brick at Stonewall!
I Would Donate but I Don’t Think My $20 Million Can Make a Difference in This Election
They say every million counts but I just feel like another face in the crowd among all these millionaire donors.
It’s Me, the Intern from Two Years Ago, Totally Not Begging for a Job
How are you? How's the company? I'm asking not because I care, but because I want to ensure that you still work here. You're my most valuable contact.
Listen Up, Peons: A Statement from the Queen
It is true that I carry a mobile phone, which I use to stay in touch with my grandchildren. It is not true that I use it to play Candy Crush.
I’m Handsome Harry, the Instagram Influencer, and I Just Want to Be a Normal Dog
It was never my life goal to be famous like Sir Charles Barkley, the French Bulldog. If I had my way, I’d be like Butch, the mutt who lives next door.
Looking Back at the Campaign of Pete Buttigieg, the Porcelain Doll Possessed by My Late Grandfather’s Spirit
We were thrilled to see that Peepaw had seized the opportunity for a new lease on life, by using the shiny, porcelain figurine "Pete Buttigieg."
An Open Letter to the CDC about the Coronavirus Which Is Spreading in My Office, I’m Just Sure of It
He says he got a "nasty case of sunburn" from his "trip to Hawaii," but I'm no idiot. I can tell that he too is suffering from coronavirus
I Ate Nothing but Gummy Worms for a Month and Here’s What Happened
Day Two: To smooth things over with my girlfriend, I write "You'll always be my Number One worm" in gummies on the kitchen floor.