Satire | Page 14 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

You see, the devil couldn’t reach you, so he sent us to test you. To torment you. To destroy your inner and outer peace.

Remember, it’s not getting an answer as much as creating an experience—not may they pass, but also should they?

It’s not your typical low-grade fever or boo-boo that goes away after your mom kisses it.

You are fairly confident you read one. Your eyes scanned the letters, making them into words, and scanned the words, making them into sentences.

Mild Bill preferred to spend his nights playing Scrabble, drinking probiotic soda, and enjoying a light Caesar salad if he really felt frisky.

Please try the ahi tuna croquette puffs—eat it off a toothpick next to that pool, just full of wet wet water.

Uncle Andy contained multitudes. At his worst, he was a truly hateful, combative, and cruel man. At his best, however, he was also really annoying.

Your vibe was soooo post-op lobotomy patient. Like, instead of being human, you were just impersonating one, you know?

Get that stethoscope out of your ears so you can hear me loud and clear when I tell you to Back The Hell Off.

Money? Money? Money? Excuse me. Money? Money? Money? You. Give. Now. Money. Me.

But let me be clear: your hesitation to place a single mark on any of my acid-free, silk-finish pages is one hundred percent correct.

I don’t expect to meet anyone by joining your Club, but I wouldn’t be upset if someone asked about me. Has anyone asked about me yet?