Satire | Page 127 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Do you know what it’s like for me when you’re out haunting someone else? It’s quiet. No branches scraping the windows, no creaking floorboards.

If you could make sure all of these opera chandeliers are turned off, that would be great.

I joined roommate Jonathan in his habit of peeing directly on the floor, giving it the sticky coating and glossy sheen I’m used to seeing at venues.

When he is not hauling freight, Thomas will lock himself inside of The Big Station and think about the damage he has done to our planet.

Jess was always really happy. It’s just that she was usually too sad to show it. And I should know, as her best friend since fourth grade.

8:15 AM: I get ready for my workday. I am dressed in a t-shirt that says “Open Letter To 'The Man': Eat Shit.”

We are really vibing with 2020. We just had bubble tea for the first time! Back when we were alive, tea was just this, like, sad British thing.

I would like the board to be aware and consider the fact that my house is a piece of garbage and I am rotting inside of it.

The Broadway League called me a "triple threat" since I caused a scene at every show, stalked cast members, and made everyone around me feel unsafe.

"The rooms were comfortable, the food was exquisite and my husband and I had a glorious time in the pool until they released those piranhas.”

Dog: Thanksgiving took a while to understand, but I’ve got it now. It starts when you’re locked outside because no one can deal with you today.

Listen, we’ve all been there. Relationships aren’t all grapes, private lyre performances, and lounging like statues in an acropolis.