Satire | Page 122 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

The keyless key fob is another amazing tool, even though I constantly have to search the house because my dumb husband lost it again.

I would have given zero stars if I could! It’s really amazing what’s “not an option” up here.

My astrology app once said that I was destined for greatness, but I thought that meant a diet tea sponsorship on Instagram or a successful Etsy shop.

The reality is that most of us haven’t been skydiving, invented a new technology, gotten bit by a shark, or know how to tap dance.

In Paris, we cry. In Paris we drink too much and enter the wrong apartment, accidentally sleeping in the wrong bed. That’s Paris.

There have been rumblings around the office about how our company will manage to pull off our famous “zeros for eyes” design in the year 2010.

Ever since our housekeeper-nanny-therapist, decided she needed to “protect her mother” during what are her “last days,” things have been a wreck.

You shall meet Ra, the Supreme God of the Sun and Creator of All Tan Lines. He will teach thee how to avoid straining thy intervertebral joints.

Whatever the establishment was, I had zero inkling. Whatever the black circle represented, I was stirred to find out.

I know I told you no animal print this year, but boy am I glad you didn't listen! Again. For the third year in a row.

I think the lesson is: the stimulus check isn't about being able to afford basic necessities. It's about reconnecting with a part of myself I lost.

Just like you, with some strategic bright lights and a huge painted-on smile, I make it look like everything is peachy keen.