Religion | Page 5 | Points in Case

Tag: Religion

She has experienced the perfect amount of sexual oppression and shame to properly teach your daughters about their growing bodies.

Tips for packing a picnic, planning a family cookout, or just snacking on some Greek sailors who got lost and wandered into your cavernous lair.

The theme of my Bar Mitzvah is “Lying awake at night, your face slick with sweat, drowning in a pool of your own despair.”

This movie is about me. But it’s also about love and family and loyalty and Christianity, but don’t say that last part out loud.

Does everyone have a string of rosary beads? It's very important to warm your muscles by lightly flagellating your body.

"When was the last time you worked?" Well, technically, as the Messiah, I am always working. But as a carpenter, I worked about three months ago.

While my MCAT scores were not the most competitive, I am a self-directed learner with strong communication skills and also I died for your sins.

"We are an open democracy and welcome 180-degree feedback circle." This is a weak start; we need a strong first point that will set the tone.

“Pine?” No. That’s not “pine,” bitch. That’s the smell of me frolicking through the forest with Jesus.

10:17 AM: I send Melissa a First Communion flashback, the time a piece of the wafer got caught in her throat and she had a panic attack in the pew.

$10 - I make old jeans fit again. I’m not supposed to allow this, but for $11 this may apply to booty shorts as well.

You should know that I have recently become a follower of the Dark Lord Cthulhu, whose worship I must prioritize above my data entry deliverables.