Janice and Mark’s whisper-fights about their upcoming incomplete wedding plans. They’ve been engaged for 7 years now.
In a corner with a martini covering 75% of my face, I can weave an intricate tapestry of all the backroom drama unfolding behind closed doors.
I've informed the top girls in junior high and below that you can speak for me in all but the most sensitive matters. Welcome to the big show, ladies
Unraveling the “why?” behind a Red Hot Chili Peppers (RHCP) fan’s devotion is critical towards correctly identifying their funk-rock condition.
We’ve got a bunch of food, drinks, and activities lined up that will shed an honest light on a lot of stuff you actually probably suspected already.
No-Homojito - Muddle the fuck out of some sugar, a mint sprig, and a gay lime. Add light rum as a top and dark rum as a bottom.
“I don’t want to come off as needy so I’ve been sitting on this text for precisely 72 hours since our last hang.”
Zoboomers love to slip in hip cool slang like “fire,” “drip,” and “lit” to help better blend themselves in with the younger generation.
If we should be in the elevator together I'll be looking at my phone the whole time, but that's just because I have so many friends to keep up with.
The invitations should allude to the theme of the evening. You could write your invitations on a spreadsheet from work, or some unpaid medical bills.
We do not want to mar the beauty, purity, and good vibes of the Federation Gala with the ugliness of politics.
Karen is your oldest friend! She’s told you time and time again since college “I always knew Mark wasn’t the guy for you!”, and boy was she right!