Shady Hills Youth Soccer Club’s U-8 Girls Team is Not Meant to Be Fun
A 6-2 record with one game left? With five players training at Elite, we should be undefeated. Heck, we should shut out every team in this league.
Tag: Parents
A Helicopter Mom Delivers a Heartfelt Promposal
You kids have so much in common. He loves dogs, too. He just can’t be in the same room with them. He’s highly allergic. To everything.
Judging Late Night Hosts Based on If They’d Be a Good Replacement for Your Father, Now That He’s Passed Away
Who better to replace dad than a late night comedy host, who is charismatic, funny, and probably screams at their unpaid interns?
How I Snowplowed My Utterly Unmagical Child’s Way into the Most Prestigious School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Paying muggle coach to lie about child’s participation in West Coast quidditch team California Dobbys.
The Recipe to Every Meal You’ll Cook in Your First Real Apartment
Attempt to order Chinese food online. Discover credit card is maxed out. Head into kitchen with acute sense of impending doom.
Ways You Can Screw Up Your Son
Raising sons is hard. There are a lot of ways you can screw up your son and add another example of toxic masculinity to society.
New High School Senior Portrait Packages
I Love My Car Package: This package is specially designed for those whose 16th birthday was the greatest moment of their life.
My Girlfriend Tries to Break Up With Me, a One-Off Character Who Needs to Quickly Deliver a Lot of Exposition
"Is this because you just lost your job? We’ve been through this, you’re an excellent reporter and they had no right to fire you! You won a Pulitzer!"
Honest Cereal Names
Honey Bunches of Oats > A Small Amount of Good Stuff Swimming in a Large Amount of Oats
I Am the Woman Who Bakes Brownies for Her Coworkers on a Weeknight, and My Life is Definitely Not Crumbling Before My Eyes
I made the brownies with one hand while reading for my ChickLits book club. Sleep is a societal construct! I think I’m starting to hallucinate.
“23 and Me” Revealed a Painful Truth: I’m Actually My Parent’s Child
I am the genetic material of two people who cut coupons, enjoy bird watching, and decorate their home with "live, laugh, love!" signs from TJ Maxx.
The Top 5 Online Masters Programs for When You’ve Given Up on Your Dreams
Masters in Accounting: Think about how much fun you have filing your taxes every year and imagine getting to do that every day!