Did you hear my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Applebaum passed away? She was only 67. Really makes you appreciate that Halloween mug, doesn't it?
Good afternoon, America! We've recently learned that humor is the best way to break bad news. Good thing the new tax bill is great news!
Hi, This is Jimmy from Wikipedia and I’m Writing to Ask, One Last Time: Please Consider Paying Me Back for Your Portion of Last Sunday’s Brunch
Here's an incredible statistic: if 100% of people at the brunch paid me back right now, you would never have to hear from me again.
Hey Santa, could you spend a little time with me this year after coming down the chimney? You know, discuss Bitcoin valuations and eat some cookies.
Before planning your trip to Africa, consider the advice of someone who has been there many times and is totally not making stuff up based on movies.
There's nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a tiny, dingy $800-a-month basement apartment to remind you that your dreams are a sham.
It's not that I don't think you're scary. But this is NYC, and I really need to get a roommate listed on this lease or else I'll have to move back to Ohio with my parents.
Feeling sad? Self-esteem finally bottomed out? Skip the Zoloft and go with today's leading anti-depressant regimen: rap music.
Thanks to the extensive sports section at my local adult video store, I now understand everything about baseball, nudity and all!
More friendly advice for those women thinking about online dating...because my advice for men the first time around wasn't enough.
Less is more, I always said. If you can’t find a fjord in New Jersey, better apply for an ocean permit ASAP so we can have the ceremony at Brigantine Beach.
Tim Cook's voice sounded almost dreamlike as it reverberated off the pillars and buttresses of the repurposed superchurch that served as Apple's Announcement Pod.