Hold the Phone, Wife and Husband Are Also Best Friends?!
Spending the night with your wife is now HAVING A SLEEPOVER WITH YOUR BESTIE. Dinner dates are now EATING WINGS WHILE YOU GOSSIP ABOUT NON-BESTIES.
Tag: Life
From a Proud but Contrite Music Snob with a Secret Life to His Daughter in the Event of His Death
I need you to delete my personal Spotify account. As you browse the artists and titles in my library you will see why I need this to happen.
While “Saving the World” Is a Nice Hobby, Don’t You Think It’s Time to Consider Graduate School, Superman?
Aren’t you tired of people mistaking you for a bird or a plane? With some higher education, they could recognize you as a local community leader.
I’m Your Acoustic Guitar’s Mother and I’m Disgusted with You
He calls me at night. He tells me how it took you months to manage a barely passable F-chord, and how you thought you'd actually achieved something.
Help, My Life Has Become a Backdoor Pilot!
No one cared about me. The main story suddenly became Hannibal's unique style of investigation and vague allusions to a troubled past.
An Obituary Writer Attempts to Win His Wife Back
Marilyn Brewster was surrounded by loved ones including her beautiful, perfect daughter Deborah who I could make so happy if she’d return my calls.
Signs Your Therapist Is a Robot
Instead of a medical degree, they display the Three Laws of Robotics and a nude photo of R2D2 on the wall.
A Quick Spoiler-Free Review of “The Irishman”
In the end, I think the main takeaway for most bigtime movie buffs is the masterful performance of one Joseph “The Spanish Rattlesnake” Pesci.
Quotes from Arthur Miller’s “Death of an Influencer”
"Pop, I have no platform! I have no platform, Pop! Can't you understand?"
My Dad Is a “Black Mirror” Episode
As you might expect, my dad is incredibly excited about this new chapter in his life. He’s been preparing for it for almost 50 years.
Obituaries for a Thanksgiving Turkey
He passed the way he lived, with quiet dignity. Nourishing the owners of Grace Organic Farm with the bravery, honor, and tender thighs of a true hero.
Good Housekeeping Tips for Throwing a Cozy, Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving Rager
For a fun coordinated touch, make sure that you’ve got a few hollowed-out pumpkins for your guests to vomit into if they indulge in too many.