My Daily Routine as a Male Cyclist in a Big City
5:35PM: Turn down a one-way street going in the opposite direction. I read somewhere that street signs don't apply when you only have two wheels.
Tag: Legal
Frequently Asked Questions About Revel Mopeds
Who's Approving All These People to Drive Electric Mopeds in New York in Less Than 15 Minutes? Steve!
I Fixed My Relationship by Registering My Boyfriend as an Emotional Support Animal
Brandon must now provide me with affection and companionship under penalty of Federal prosecution.
Unfortunately, You Have Not Been Accepted to the United States of America
You also referenced a desire to give your children a better life than you were afforded. Unfortunately, the board felt this was a bit unoriginal.
With These Latest Mass Shootings, We Condemn the Violent Influence of Princess Zelda, Donkey Kong, and Super Mario
Mario is the lust for violence incarnate wrapped in a disguise of respectability. Those green pipes you see are hardly plumbing simulators.
Can I Help the Next Person in Line at the Department of Breakups?
We ask that you fill out all forms in pencil for this very reason; your forms are illegible because the ink has run everywhere due to your tears.
Of Course I’m Sure I Want to Look “That Sexy” in My Ancestry.com Profile Pic
No, I am not studying genetic science in order to determine whether I can safely hook up with any of my 5th or 6th cousins! Geez.
Welcome to the Mundane Terror of Your Day in Court
Is this real life? This lawsuit has consumed your mind, your nerves, your days, your marriage for the better part of four years.
TSA Guidelines for National Clown Week
Provide your real name. Slappy, Mr. Chuckles, Giggle Master, Miss Jiggles-a-Lot, and Happy Pappy are not legal names we recognize.
Sharp-Dressed John Doe v. ZZ Top
By all accounts, my client satisfied the legal definition of a sharp dressed man. And yet, the ladies did not come a-runnin' just as fast as they can.
Sorry, Your Fire Insurance Doesn’t Cover Fire Damage
I empathetically understand why you think your house burned down, but technically it was destroyed and not “burned down.” This difference does matter.
I Am an ICE Guard and I Sleep Very Well Through My Night Terrors, Thank You
Knowing that I did my part to separate a four-year-old from his mother with no plan or intent to reunite them, I can nod off shortly after vomiting.