Remind the IRS of simpler tax days. Create an apology collage out of all the old receipts you filed when you first entered the workforce.
Despite the obstacles--not learning Latin, being married, wearing a sombrero with “I'm the POPE!” in neon letters--in my heart I didn't lose.
Vibrating Bath Bomb: We are not allowed to discuss what this may be used for (we are allowed to discuss murder and drugs, but sex is off the table).
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare: The classic love story. It’s a famous… I want to say play? I’ve only seen the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio.
(12/16/18 --- 10:46 AM) Bill-- 6-year-old Johnny Casin has some serious dirt on your ex-wife, Brittany.
At that point, I had covered my guns in concrete. I didn’t want them. But the game pulled me back and I ended up killing about a thousand more dudes.
I wish there were “other solutions.” But heavy drinking’s already been taken as a solution to politics.
It’s Me, the Female Protagonist in a Television Melodrama, and No, I Don’t Think My Estranged Father is Here to Con Me
I arrived home to my apartment, fresh groceries in hand (despite the fact that I am never seen cooking, talking about food, or eating).
Join us in the kitchen for Kristen’s goodbye pizza! Why is Kristen leaving? Legally I’m not allowed to say, but 100% this was her idea.
We prevailed! We, whose skins are sensitive to the winds that whip through the lobby when goddamn Liam doesn’t shut the door—marched into battle.
I really can't tell anybody this part but I doubt I will ever feel a pride as strong as when I watched Minion explode in front of Mr. Grimm's bike.
There’s never been a better time to get our signature cuts of Flank, lower case T-Bone, Z-Bone, Subprime, Sphincter, Roadkill, and, of course, Okja.