At Instagram, We Like People, Including People Like Me, CEO Adam Mosseri, Who Has Just Started Therapy for the First Time
Some of you seem to be using this platform for what my psychologist, Dr. Winter, has identified as attention-seeking behavior.
Tag: Health
Hey Assholes, It’s March, and I Heard You’ve Been Talking Shit
All I wanted to do is continue the progression of time the way it has been going for all of fucking history. But suddenly the pandemic's MY fault?
Hello? Should I Stop Buying Kale?
Are you… still buying kale? Please tell me I’m not the only one. Oh God, I have so much kale.
Johnson & Johnson Vaccine or RC Cola?
Feels like they should've spent a little more time on the formula. / Urgently being shipped to nursing homes in the South.
A Realistic Introduction to Your New Peloton Stationary Bike
Instructor Kate knows you won’t make it past two months on this bike, but she also knows you need her positive energy to have any chance at all.
I Promise to Do Something That Scares Me Every Day as Long as Minor Accommodations Are Made for My Safety and Well-Being
I will eat at a restaurant alone, as long as I can tell a friend to show up ten minutes after I’m seated and join me.
We at Edible Arrangements Are So Sorry Your Order Came Five Weeks Late
What we see here is not a rainbow cornucopia of fresh fruit, but a hornet’s nest of shriveled blackberries and fungus-ridden apricots.
If You Don’t Mind Signing This Disclaimer Before You Enjoy That Raw Meat Sandwich
We at Fatty Matty’s Quakin’ Baconz do not assume liability for any health complications and/or death that may arise from the "DOIN’ IT RAW" special.
A Descent into Insanity, As Told Through Covid Test Swag Stickers
Day 8: Another test, and another sticker. This one has a pile of crimson and golden autumn leaves with the “We’re in this together!” slogan.
19th Century Asylum or Modern Daycare?
You approach a crying person and ask what’s the matter. They say, “Nothing.” Seconds later that person is interacting jovially with a colleague.
Hickory Dickory Doctor’s Patient Log at Mother Goose Urgent Care
Pt. Jack Sprat re-check of cholesterol ratio and general lipid panel. Wife, however, doing poorly on Nutrisystem and needs to eat leaner.
Sufjan Stevens Song or Drug-Free Approach to Pain Management?
Good for your health either way. (This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration or Pitchfork Media.)