This is on both of us: you put me in the position of being responsible for humanity, and I let my savior complex feed right into that.
You started to leave my cap off, like it was no big deal.
I’m a different breed altogether. How will you catch a man who does his own research?
Aires: The discovery of a solitary butt-pimple will start a medical journey that ends in divorce and prison time.
Your Final Semester of Dental School Will Focus Primarily on the Care and Maintenance of Your Future Office Aquarium
We will cover advanced topics in endodontics, and the selection, upkeep, and disposal of the countless tropical fish in your new dental office.
Thoughts of that scene have no place in this mindful state we are entering. Simply wave goodbye to those thoughts as they float by in your mind.
Ask them if they've tried that pencil trick to help them smile their way out of stress.
Take the day off of work! The experience can take between nine and twelve hours.
I Am Your New Passive Aggressive Fitbit and I’m Stoked to Give You Anxiety about Your Resting Heart Rate
What’s going on in that head of yours that’s got you so worked up while we’re just sitting here hate-scrolling through your ex’s Facebook?
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
For urgent matters, please reach out to Gary Dilworth, who will bombard me with angry texts in all caps until I respond.
If in doubt, release a canary (oh, you should bring a canary) into a ventilation shaft and observe it carefully.