That’s My Wife You’re Talkin’ To!
Get that stethoscope out of your ears so you can hear me loud and clear when I tell you to Back The Hell Off.
Tag: Health
We Found Life on Mars but It’s COVID
Why is nobody celebrating this big win? It’s life! Even if that life is a disease, it is still life.
Congratulations, Your AI-Powered Surgery Was Mostly a Success!
Your first question, of course, must be, "Did we get the appendix out?" Yes. Most of it. Eventually.
What I Hope My Dentist Will Say to Me When I Visit for the First Time in Six Years
Frankly, I’m just excited to have you back in my chair. After all, you ARE my favorite patient! Also, in many ways, you’re like a son to me.
A Complete List of Vitamins and Their Benefits
Vitamin D – Gives you the power to dunk a basketball. Vitamin F – Repairs red blood cells, and repairs your tattered relationship with your father.
The Right Way to Wash Your Face According to TikTok
To start, what kind of face wash do you use? Quel horror if you say “just bar soap.”
Introducing the “Choose Your Most Important Body Part” Health Insurance Plan
Choose a select body part for coverage. Options may include*: arm (1 only), leg (1 only), eye (1 only), lip (1 only), tongue, neck, forehead, or skin (maximum 1 square ft section).
Spend $10 on Cigarettes, Get $500 in Bonus Cigarettes on Us
Here at CigKings, our company philosophy is simple: we give away large sums of money out of the goodness of our hearts.
Urgent Recall Notice: Your Brain
Our official recommendation is to stop using your brain immediately. Please take care to dispose of it safely.
My Doctor’s Pretty Good, Apart from How Often He Says “Ewwwwwwwww!!”
It was good to hear the inside of my mouth also looked "healthy, but super grody, you know, like mouths are."
I Don’t Think My Eye Twitching Is Something to Worry About, or Do You?
No, of course not. It's no big deal. This happens to everyone. Right? Everyone has little involuntary muscle spasms sometimes.
An Apology from Your Proctologist for Writing Poems About Your Colonoscopy
To be fair, they are really good poems. I don’t want to toot my own horn (a little proctologist humor there), but those poems are inspired.