Eulogies for the Houseplants My Dumbass Essentially Murdered
Einstein was a Ponytail Palm that my sister got me. Like the Einstein from Science, this Ponytail Palm had an eccentric intelligence, but no grace.
Einstein was a Ponytail Palm that my sister got me. Like the Einstein from Science, this Ponytail Palm had an eccentric intelligence, but no grace.
Employees who disregard this mandate are urged to take oral infusions of methylxanthine before arriving at the workplace. (Drink coffee)
Because of the shape of their heads, turtles spend much of their lives looking down on whatever’s in front of them. Similar to: White people.
Petty Fight Pilsner: Remember that yelling match in the parking lot after the old disagreement about whose responsibility it was to feed the fish?
Let’s take a look at our international weather for all you lucky ducks who’re able to afford trips without forgoing health care for two months.
As a result of that whole "free will" blunder, any direct divine intervention is off the table. We did, however, agree to a compromise arrangement.
I’m not quite sure how to begin but I know too well how it ends: with tendrily monsters eating your loved ones.
We are keen to invest three decades of savings into your property and excited to put in our offer after looking for the perfect teardown for so long.
Other topics conversation should focus on famous people you’ve worked with or in relative proximity to, and how long it took to get to the meeting.
I'm warning you: they won't stop until Arbor Day becomes Firewood Day.
There is no better example of multitasking than being able to eat flat pasta, ground beef, tomato sauce, and three types of cheeses all in one dish.
Run circles around your orchid while making “buzzzzzz” sounds. An aroused orchid is an alive orchid.