"Shameless caffeine addiction" just doesn’t cut it. Chances are you’ve also been avoiding your first screening with a gastroenterologist.
But resistance must not be allowed to harden into its own brand of oppression—which That Jerk sitting in my chair is already exploiting.
My boss trusted me enough to get coffee and sometimes even pick up an occasional muffin. In addition, I became well-versed in Excel.
I don't think any of my boyfriends have had such a positive impact on my life. You know, cup of Joe sends me off to work every day.
Coffee shops: “Ugh, I know it’s overpriced, but it’s my guilty pleasure!” is now what I say when I buy healthcare.
3. Make sure to shout, "BIG CATS!" in a fake Southern accent every 47 minutes no matter where you are.
How are you? How's the company? I'm asking not because I care, but because I want to ensure that you still work here. You're my most valuable contact.
My business cards are written on giant chalkboards with a topical joke that changes when I feel like it, and I send all receipts to your email.
Pull your wallet out when paying and flash your cute family photos. Have the last one be a photobooth selfie of you and your Keurig.
Clients call at all hours night and day. / Spend 92% of day negotiating. / Know a lot of stuff but none of it seems to help when clients are crying.
If we don’t come up with an ingenious sign, no one will ever come in, meaning no one will share post shots of our killer foam art.
Before coffee, I’m, like, a zombie feeding on its own, like… brains or whatever, and struggling to complete straightforward zombie analogies.