How to Assert Yourself When a Buick Cuts Off Your Sick Subaru WRX
Your blood boils and your molars grind. Your throat rumbles with a primal growl. Now put those feelings into a five-step plan of action.
Tag: Anger
Responses to What People Wrote in My High School Yearbook
Hey, Capri, guess what? It wasn’t the best summer ever. Not even close. I worked the register at Walmart and got carpal tunnel.
I Must Resign After Everyone Saw Me Lose a Game of Tic-Tac-Toe to a Chicken
In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn’t have loudly invited every member of staff to come watch me “roast this bird” at tic-tac-toe.
Can Someone Please Get Jay Leno Out of My House?
His car collection takes up most of my driveway and he keeps stealing my newspapers to do his classic “Headlines” desk bit.
Single Parent During a Pandemic or Alcoholic?
You’re in no condition to drive. But it would be even more dangerous to let your companion do it.
No, I Won’t Stop Dumping Trash on Your Lawn
It is not my fault that your son got a splinter from the demolished wood pieces that I judiciously donated to your lawn.
List: Insults More Effective Than “Suck My Cock,” Because Lots of People Like Doing That
"Weed My Flower Beds" – I dare you to tell the difference between a weed and some bullshit my wife planted. I friggin’ dare you!
Yoga for [Insert Unrealistic End Goal of Breathing and Posing]
Assume a plank pose on the mat that you ordered from Amazon, mentally petitioning Jeff Bezos to treat his employees properly.
The PDX Protest Festival Lineup
A rundown of all the groups scheduled to appear at Portland's nightly protest, including Average Wife Band and They Might Be Half-Brothers.
FAQ: My Nextdoor Neighbor Is a Russian Oligarch
He also borrowed my weed whacker. How do you get it back from an oligarch? Weed whacking is activity of peasant, not fitting of powerful oligarch .
I Am the Clump of Dried Toothpaste That Takes Over the Nozzle of Every Tube
Think of me as the gamma-ray to your Bruce Banner, only I give you none of the superpowers and all of the anger.
I’m Your Random Chin Hair, and I’m Pleading for My Life
Since I showed up, did I bother you? Now suddenly, because you look into a magnifying mirror for the first time in months, I'm a problem?