Make Dinner, Not War: A Husband’s Plea
We've both changed a lot over the years, but we made certain promises to each other. Am I mistaken in remembering that on our first date you told me you "like to cook"?
We've both changed a lot over the years, but we made certain promises to each other. Am I mistaken in remembering that on our first date you told me you "like to cook"?
Climate change wouldn't be such a big deal, Grandpa, if you'd stop telling me stories about enemy brush fire and start recycling.
We see them on television, and we hear about them from our friends who got updated about them on Facebook--which, at this point, may as well just be called MyTragedyUpdate.com.
There are plenty of unknowable mysteries about life. But one thing we do know is that no person has ever been created to slice another person's forehead with a hatchet.
First comes shock and denial, as it just keeps rolling around the plate, inviting a game of cat and mouse. Except here, it's not a game, it's REAL LIFE.
I know you didn't choose to be so poorly-endowed. But you did choose to be an unbearable asshole, and I want to be clear about my contempt for your very existence.
What you never learned is that you're a replaceable peon, your career means nothing, your marriage will fail, and nobody loves you. Don't worry though, you were a mistake to begin with.
"You really think you deserve to destroy America after a test like that? My father and grandfather are rolling in their graves right now at the thought."
It's hard to know whether King Kong would have wanted this war to occur. But he alone will be ultimately responsible for causing all apes to unite under one banner and revolt.
Guaranteed ways to publicly destroy the reputation of enemies ranging from your former employer or romantic partner, to a professional rival or your spouse's psycho ex.
Being bullied at camp is much different than being bullied at school, at home, on the internet, or at a Game of Thrones cosplay convention.
Some nights I lie awake, wondering, is my son a nancy ass? Now, I fear the worst?: that he harbors dreams of a future in social work.