In Unit 2, we will delve into how I’m sick of your stupid shit too, and pretty please fuck off (and thank you).
Leader Ron also just told us he has binged through seasons 1 and 2 of The Office last night, and can’t wait to find out how Jim and Pam's arc ends.
Badly behaving sports fans (A.K.A. “Brood W”) have exploded in population due to their inability to behave in public after their long hibernation.
I thought the mixed berry would pair well with the mix of emotions I had been feeling since my mom married her long-time boyfriend, Alfonso Matrioni.
I respect the State of California’s 100-yard rule, and I value precision, which is why I bought one hundred yardsticks at Home Depot.
It was not I who called her “a useless swath of dogshit,” it was, in fact, Chicago crime lord Tony Ligitano.
You know what I think? They didn't get it... Yes, they just didn't get it. They let a masterpiece slip away, right under their nose.
Look: I’m white. I’m a man. My home and backyard are filled with dangerous worker bees that produce honey for me. It’s not that unusual.
You see, when I was fired from my job at Target for stealing money out of the register, it was actually a clever commentary on American capitalism.
The guy who told me he’d help me move, then stole my iconic Mallrats pin and puka shell necklace so he could more easily pretend to be me.
Concocting a knuckle sandwich is a delicacy in itself, and should be taken with care.
Listen, you're already on thin ice with me. You and I both know this ain't the first time we've found ourselves here.