You Can’t Hurry Love or Your Paycheck from Your Freelance Gig Last May

House of the Rising Son Who Only Got a Girlfriend to Split Rent and It’s Going Poorly

Johnny B. Goode and Available on Email Over the Weekend

Stairway to the Rare Communal Laundry Machine in the Basement (Heaven)

You’re So Vain You Probably Think This Song Is About You, and It Is—I’m Gaslighting You

Brown Eyed Girl Who Is Younger Than You and Has Better Health Insurance

$800/Night Airbnb California

Here Comes the Sun… in the Middle of Winter?

I Got You Babe (And By “You” I Mean Rude Comments on Your TikTok)

Fire and Rain and Also 63 W2s You Have to File from All Your Side Hustles Last Year

(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman Whose Breasts Just Happen to Be Bigger Right Now Because She’s on Hormonal Birth Control

Eleanor Rigby’s GoFundMe for Back Surgery

Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Ain't No Rent Lower Than $2,000

I Want to Hold Your Hand, But I Got Carpal Tunnel from My Pottery Class

Stand By Me, in the Three-Hour Covid Testing Line

Signed, Sealed, Delivered: I’m Your Boss Ricky’s Massive Holiday Bonus That He Gave Himself

“Son of a Preacher Man,” the 10 Episode True Crime Mini-Series That You Can’t Watch Because Netflix Got Too Expensive

Billy Joel’s Cheap-Electric-Piano-That-Can-Fit-Under-The-Bed-Because-There’s-Not-Space-In The-Apartment-For-An-Actual-Piano Man

I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet (Due to Fracking)

Ain’t Too Proud to Beg (no updates required for this title)