Taco Bell knows what men want. They know that in the past, men have suffered through nighttime snacking. And Taco Bell is a people-pleaser, which is why they've tried so hard over the years to find out, exactly, what pleases men. That is why, with the summer arriving, Taco Bell has dared to unveil its most delicious meal yet. Ladies and gentlemen, but mostly gentlemen, I am glad to present to you, Taco Bell's newest creation:
THE PINK TACO
Thank you, Taco Bell, for helping us overcome our fear of pink tacos by making them look so delicious. After all, that's what Taco Bell does. It knows that when men bite into a pink taco, they want it to taste delicious. Long before have men opened their mouths to a dripping wet pink taco to discover a wretched taste on their tongues. "Ew," the men would say, wiping their tongue on the bed sheets, "this pink taco tastes like fish." Well fuck that, because Taco Bell's new pink taco tastes delicious.
While eating this pink taco, men can observe the tightness of the shell, unlike other tacos that loosen up after being shared by multiple men.So what goes into making such a delectable pink taco? What has Taco Bell done to perfect this snack that has recently nauseated most men? It's very simple: they have revolutionized the way pink tacos are composed. In the past, pink tacos have been a cesspool of different tastes, ranging from sardines to black jellybeans to sour milk. When men went to eat a pink taco, they were confronted with a mix of disgusting flavors that ruined their appetite. Considering this, Taco Bell completely changed the way pink tacos were made. They eliminated the confusion of different tastes and stripped the pink taco to the basics.
First, there's the beef. And lots of it, all smashed together in one spot, so men don't have to dig around for it with their tongue. One bite and men find their mouths overflowing with the dripping meat. Fresh meat too, not the type of meat that makes you think, "How long has this meat been unwashed?" or "I wonder if the meat always tastes like this…." Taco Bell's pink taco has delicious meat.
Next is the cheese. No pink taco is complete without the smooth, flowing juices. The cheese, like any liquid, helps lubricate the experience of eating the pink taco. With one bite, these yellow fluids flow down your lips like sap from a tree. As the warm cheese glides down your throat you can't help but smile.
Lastly, on top of this delicious pink taco is some evenly sprinkled lettuce. This is a monumental change from the massive amounts of lettuce men have recently encountered in their pink taco. Before, the lettuce used to be smashed on top of the pink taco, overpowering the area and ruining the general appearance of the food. Many men would even refuse to eat a pink taco if there was too much foliage surrounding the meat. When men tried to bite into the pink taco, the lettuce would rub against their face, scratching their foreheads and tickling their nose. Luckily, Taco Bell has saved the recipe, adding cleanly cut pieces of lettuce on top of the delicious meat.
And finally, there is the pink shell. A magnificently kept shell that men can be sure has not been tampered with. While eating this pink taco, the man can observe the tightness of the shell and how it keeps everything together, unlike other tacos that loosen up after being shared by multiple men. There is no longer a need to worry about any lesions or warts that could cause future problems. Taco Bell has created a fresh, untouched pink taco.
So there you are, men. No longer will we be frightened by the idea of munching on pink taco. And with Taco Bell open until midnight or later, you can be sure that pink tacos will taste delicious throughout the night. So go ahead, dig in. Stuff your face with Taco Bell's scrumptious pink tacos. Have three. Have four. Share them with your friends! Never has a mixture of meat, cheese, and lettuce been so appetizing. Taco Bell considered putting a cherry on top, but grew scared it would get popped.