The latest posts from all humor columns. Everyday Artists | PIC Newspaper | First Lecture | Simon Says
At the moment, our foresight is a little askew, and our focus short-sighted, but a new age awaits as soon as we turn off the HD surround sound.
When your mind is tied up with sex, it's hard to get a safety word in edgewise. Bite the hand that needs you, if you're into that sorta thing.
As long as the media execs' pockets are getting fat, they'll continue to shove fast-food comedy down our throats. Mmm, tastes so... generic.
The reports are in, the investigation is closed, the data has been analyzed...and plagiarized: college students like to cheat.
When, in the course of human events, one deems it necessary to form ties with another, then in due process a union shall be formed. But not without rules.
The study of thermodynamics tells us that the opposite of hot is cool. Popping one's collar significantly blocks the sun and not the cock.
The legendary E. Mike has returned from faraway lands. He thanks you for filling his inbox, but he can't stay and cuddle. You know how it is.
Moving is a challenging, emotional journey of one's mind and soul. Box up your heavy heart, and make your friends carry it.
Wait a minute, this isn't Pleasuretown! Girl, where are you taking us? I knew I shouldn't have let you navigate this relationship.
Tough Luck, Saddam, looks like your noose is cooked. But hey, speaking of funny-sounding foreigners, have you seen Borat?
The Holidays are all about catching women on your tongue like snowflakes. If you don't like what you got, just return it.
Now, for my final trick, I will make thousands of American soldiers disappear. But first, is that a quarter behind your ear? I need that.