The damn hippies keep telling us to quit warming the global, or something. I don't know what they're talking about. But screw them.

But I keep seeing this commercial about why we should save the polar bears. But fuck polar bears. They're assholes.

You see! They're stupid!

They eat seals. I thought you liberals wanted to save the baby seals from being clubbed to death? Now you want them eaten to death? Hypocrites.

Polar bears are white! That's reverse-affirmative action right there! Again with your shitty "logic" Democrats.

Ursus Maritimus live in Alaska. The only good things from "The Land Of the Midnight Sun" are 1. Sarah Palin, 2. Oil, 3. That crab-catching show on cable, 4. Some really potent weed that Snoop Dogg sings about.

If they were truly as smart as National Geographic says they are, they would have evolved into better animals by now.

Polar bears are notorious seducers. I've personally seen a big white maneating monster walk up to a girl and say, "How does a polar bear break the ice?" and then he puts out his paw to shake and continues, "My name is Skippy? What's yours?" Way too many women are swooned this way.

Wikipedia says polar bears are the biggest land omnivores in existence right now. Well fuck that. Americans should be the biggest land omnivores!

Polor bears eat garbage and usually can't handle their liquor.

And then there's this video:

Need I say more? Do we really need to save the cretinous creatures?