It's another Photo of the Week, the visual accident I'll post from time to time at which you'll glance briefly, turn away with disinterest, and wonder why you even looked in the first place. This week's photo is entitled, "Close Your Mouth, Dana."

It was the birthday of our friend Joe, which posed to us the predicament of purchasing a gift for the guy who has everything. I mean everything. This kid has the Staples Easy Button in English and Spanish; I'd have to go all the way to Canada for the French version, and who even has time for that?

Male porn seemed the obvious alternative.


You’d be surprised how much fun the combination of $7 margaritas and the expletive, “Whoa, testicles!” could create. Actually, not surprising at all. Even more enjoyable was waving the more graphic pages in the faces of the middle aged couple seated next to us. Oh come on, they totally deserved it. You don’t dine at a place called Blockheads unless you’re a group of 20 or more unruly college students looking to purchase massive quantities of malt liquor and throw appetizers at one another from across the table. ALL OTHER PATRONS SHALL BE SCORNED.

As you can see, I had to do some deliberate editing to the photo, which was originally for Facebook purposes. In translation I lost the original copy, which means you’re out of luck if you were hoping for an uncensored version, but I’m sure all my family members who are reading this right now are quite thankful about that.