I don’t know much about computers. But I’m learning. And to quote the little kid from that movie, D.A.R.Y.L., “All knowledge is learning, and therefore good.” So, as I learn, so do you guys and gals. Here are some of the things I’ve learned about computers.

Never change your passwords when drunk. This is a biggie.

When your anti virus software wants you to run a scan, just run the damn thing.

When your virus protection wants to block an exe (whatever that is), block it.

When you get an email with an attachment, unless you know and trust the person (and by this, I mean you have met them and know where they live) do not open it.

Never AIM while drunk.

Do not AIM people too much. It bugs them.

Seriously, if you’re drunk, just turn off the computer and back away. I’m not kidding here.

Don’t get into conversations about computers with people who know what they’re doing. You’ll walk away feeling like a moron in a pile of shit heads.

Porn and computers are like crack and crack and more crack. Lay off.

If you own property, you can be found. Don’t mess around with people who can find you (note: pretty much any moron can find you).

Never pay for porn.

And finally, advice given to me from a computer geek named Chris, “If you don’t know what you’re doing, just take a few courses. I can’t answer everyone of your damn questions every time you have one just because you had to leap frog from 1992 to 2005 practically overnight.”

I hope I was some help.