I don't know if there are any University of Texas or Austin readers out there, but if there are, I figure i'll write one good post for YA'LL! Here comes the local humor.

– Who would win in a fight between a spicy pickle and a mellow mushroom? WHICH ‘WICH is better? As far as price goes, you're better of KERB'ing your appetite. I don't want to DRAG this argument out, though. we'll discuss MOE later.

– I was riding the West Campus bus today, and it was literally packed until we stopped at 21st and speedway. It was then that I wondered if bus drivers ever hit the gas way too hard after roughly 2000 lbs of people get off the bus. I mean I drop off two passengers in my truck and then it feels like I'm gunning it. Surely he must feel like he's flying at 15 mph.

– I think just about everyone knows someone who's on the football team but doesn't play.

– Especially after last weekend's loss, I sometimes wonder if people are true fans of the UT football or merely enjoying the excuse to drink every weekend. Usually this wondering occurs as I drink from a frosted 2005 National Champions mug.

– The demolition project on 26th street is better than TV.

– Sometimes I see people on the drag and can't tell whether they're homeless or camping.

– I do know they aren't aware of the irony of them sitting in front of a thrift store.

– Even better irony is the fact that they take better care of their dogs than college students with chihuahuas locked in their apartments all day.

– I work for the Texas Travesty, thus I spend a considerable amount of time on the west mall handing out issues. And as much rejection as I sometimes face… “I got one already” … I feel sorry for the blatant disregard that goes to all the clubs that try to get you to Save Darfur or come to their cultural festival… but not sorry enough to stop mocking them as I hand out issues.