Yesterday, I received a facebook group invite called “Gaudios of the World Unite!”
Of course, as my sister and I are the only Gaudios my age I know, I joined up. Not many people understand the plight of being called Guido for most of your life.
Well, apart from arguing with people on how to pronounce the name (GOD-EE-OH IS THE FUCKING WAY YOU SAY IT), I clicked on the group member list and came to find that nearly every single girl in the goddamned group was bangin'.
This obviously begs numberous questions.
Am I a pervert?
The possible answers being:
-Yes, having the same last name nullifies any ability to get with them, as Gaudio is not that common of a name in the United States (though it is rather common in Italy).
-No, hit that shit…just cover your tracks, you sick fuck.
If she gets pregnant will our baby be a mutant?
-Yes, and you should consider abortion.
-No, it'll be beautiful because it's your kid. Beautiful genes=Beautiful genes.
– Um, won't it just be a beautiful little retard baby?
What's in a name?
-What am I, Shakespeare?
To get to the bottom of this…not to mention start shit in the group… I posted my idea…
Hot Gaudio on Gaudio Action
Before I say this I'd like to clear something up.I'm adopted.
So, technically, I can say that many of the Gaudio ladies in this group are hot.
I don't care. Stone me. Or gimme a call.
Think about it, ladies… if you're feminist, you don't even have to change your last name! Sweet!
First, I'm not adopted. I'm 100% Gaudio. That is, my mother was a Gaudio, my father was a Gaudio. Just kidding. heh.
But seriously, I just figured that instead of being kicked from the group and consequentially not in contact with those girls that I'd lie.
I'd like your opinion on the matter and I'll keep you posted on what the other Gaudios say.
Remember, you've always known that I'm a sick fuck.
It's just now I realize it.
God, I need a cold shower.