Today, officials at UIA announced the annual winner of their "Award for Best Paper in Aristotelian Achievement: Specifically, The Greatest Achievement in a Sarcastic Paper About Meta-Stuff."
How well does a contract to have sex hold up? Find out when it all comes down to a night at the Slumberland Motel, Room 8.
A depressing trip to The Great Death Orgy in Atlanta leads to a discussion with a famous virgin, novelist Russell Bright, who has his own biological theories for saving his sperm.
There was no use. Nothing you did was sexy. You were a Virgin. With a capital fucking V, you said. Those girls were fucking guys like that William Hornsby, not you.
I was lonely and chubby and sick of the hopeless feelings after masturbation, the heart-lock of hormones pulsing through my brain, the girls smiling at each other but never at me.
I've always wanted to kill an animal with my bare hands. But I want a challenge, not some weak animal coming at me half-assed. That's why I want to kill a wolf.
<p><strong>Tuesday #1</strong></p> <p>NG: Thanks for meeting with me on such a short notice.</p> <p>TR: Oh it's no problem. I'm only gonna die in like...thirty-five days. Thanks for writing me down on paper. Immortalizing me. No biggie.</p> <p>NG: If it makes you feel any better, thirty-five days is a fucking <em>perfect</em> timeline for me.</p> <p>TR: Perfect? What? Why? </p>
<p><a href="/user/421" title="Ali Wisch | PIC Writer">Ali Wisch is a cute girl</a>. Right? I mean, I've never met the bitch in person but look at that picture: cute as a button on a bug's rug. Now, I know what you're thinking and this is not some weird e-verbal gangbang for Ali's self-image. You should've been able to tell from the onset that this isn't me kissing her ass—or at least from the usage of the word, "bitch." (Which I use generally, in any case, when talking about a woman I'll never meet)—this is the truth. </p>
<p>Your favorite Lutheran show hits PIC with special guests Naughty By Nature and Nappy Roots. Enjoy!</p>
The mother of the 2008 WVU Homecoming Queen fires up all cylinders and attacks NG Hatfield, author of an article lambasting WVU Homecomings...in 2007.
<p>Yep, I've been away for awhile. I told Court that I'll be vacationing until I get all of this Grad School bullshit over with. But, I'm still an attention whore. I've worked on a little comedy story for your enjoyment. Let me know what you think.</p>
<p>Well kids, if you're wondering what I've been up to, here's it. It's kinda long, but I'm really proud of it. </p><p> Lemme know what ya think. </p>