A few of my fellow writers like to write after drinking. Sometimes my best stuff comes after I'm really hungover. I definitely don't suggest this as it can kill brain cells and you can end up waking up next to some awkward people.

There are also the people who submit wonderful columns and blogs while high — as in smoking marijuana. This boggles my mind, because I can't do anything when I'm high except eat, laugh and watch "Buffy The Vampire Slayer."

To try and fit in, I inhaled a few molecules of THC and tried to write. After hours of trials and tribulations: here's what came out:


KC: I bet myself I couldn't eat a pound of grapes.
Normal Kid: What do you have to pay yourself if you lose?
KC: I have to eat more grapes.
Normal Kid: And if you win?
KC: I get a nice smooth fibrous poop.


And the other story is:



And that's it! So I tilt my cap to those of you who can function while stoned. It's harder than it looks. Excuse me while I catch up on some "Buffy."

You're the best!