The monster under your bed is named Lord Helmut.
He was once a man in the 14th century before he was crufied as a witch and set on fire at the cross. As he was burning alive he quicky managed to make a pack with the devil. The deal was he would survive the burning in exchange for his soul.
And so he lost his soul.
Lonely, he roamed around earth for several decades. And with no soul he couldn't age. He eventually went insane and tried committing suicide but however much he tried….he couldn't die.
This lead to the development of severe anti-social complexes, depression and ultimately a fear of everything.
This is how he ended up hiding under your bed.
He actually means you no harm. We actually both had a good laugh about it when he mentioned that he was more scared to see you, then you were of him. He is very shy, but he did let me take a picture of him.
Anyways Son, the other thing I wanted to mention is that I'm pregnant with Lord Helmut's baby. I know this is probably a bit sudden considering your father has just moved out of the house. But I'm hoping this is something we can talk about soon.
I have to run. But why don't you and Lord Helmut meet up again say around midnight tonight? I'm sure once you two get to know each other you'll find out he's a really great guy. He says it's been awhile since he can remember when he was 11 years old…but I'm sure you guys will find you might have more in common then you might think.
I love you sweetie.