Fill in the blank…think one-word madlibs

(Ethnicity) ________________________

Now go on.


An old writer sits at his typewriter. His last book.

After twenty long hours of crumpled papers and angry typing, he comes to his conclusion.

“I've sold myself to God,” he types. “I'm no longer going to continue writing these horrible things about women, about sex, about God and the benefits of anything sinful. I'm no longer going to follow the dark path of this life. I'm going to follow Christ as my Lord and Savior.”

The old writer then, in a brief moment of clarity, continues: “But alas, I am too poor. I have spent my extravagant life away on things of sin…if you readers find out that I'm a phony and a pussy. That I'm not as intelligent as I like to seem and that simply, am not funny… they will no longer buy books to support me.

“What I need from you, the readers, is the financial support in my new passion for Christ. All of you who read me and still consider yourselves Christian…please donate and fund for my new projects. I will write nothing but entertaining Christianity-based humor…like jokes about Job. I just need $20,000.”

The old writer stops typing. Pulls the paper out. Finally sets the paper in an envelope and sends it off to the old publisher.

Given the lengthy career of the old writer, the old publisher doesn't put much concern into proofreading the material. He sends it to the old editor. The old editor stops reading halfway through; the books go to press, go to shelves.

First few days, nothing much happens.

But then comes the hate mail.

Bulks of hate mail.

Internet sites of hate.

Interviews on low-budget cable.

Pure bliss in mediocre attention.

Almost stardom.

The old writer reads each gesture of hate with a smile.

But does he know why his books are selling so well?

It's because he's fucking ___________.