WASHINGTON – After his approval rating plummeted following Hurricane Katrina, President Bush has begun an aggressive PR campaign. A release of the president’s weekly schedule shows his new PR push begins on the Gulf Coast, with meetings in New Orleans scheduled early this week. An outline of the PR strategy highlights the strengths of the president such as “looking visibly comforting while not really doing anything to help anyone” and “managing not to die from snack food-related assassination plots.”

The president is scheduled to appear at a Habitat for Humanity build, though between the picture-taking and interviews, he may not have time to actually help build the house. “When it comes to being an integral part of rebuilding lives, it’s the thought that counts,” said President Bush about his visit. “I’m also going to the opening of an elementary school. I want people to see the value of education in the lives of people we don’t really care about. See, if they can value it, so should we.”

In other news, the president intends to use the elementary school visit as the launch pad for his new “No Child Left Behind North of the Gulf Coast” program. More details are to come.