Dear Diary,
Oh my god, TODAY was the most exciting day of my entire life!!
I just finished rescuing a princess!!!
Her name is Leia and oh man is she hot! So hot in fact, that Han Solo and I made a little bet between us to see which of us is going to nail her first.
I can't stop thinking about her – I've already masturbated thinking about her. It's funny, 3CP0 walked in on me when I was beating off, but he isn't programmed to understand what I was doing. So he was all like “Master Luke, are you in trouble??” (I was moaning at the time)
Totally reminds me of the story my Uncle once told me back on Tatooine: This was before I got there, but one time my Aunt left my Uncle for a month to go visit her sister on Planet Alderaan. Well, the day my Aunt left, my Uncle shut down 3CP0 and reprogrammed him so that all he knew how to do was go down on my Uncle for one hour every night. “Jesus Luke” he’d say when he told me this story drunk one night, “All you gotta do is shove some vasoline in that metallic pie hole he calls a mouth and he was good to go!” The night before my Aunt returned home, he shut back down 3CP0 and reprogrammed him. The next day 3CP0 had no idea what happened.
Oh and Han…that dirty devil… already installed a hidden camera in the shower unit in his Millennium Falcon. He’s already showed me footage of Leia naked in the shower!! Man, her little ass is so fine.
I now have an image of me fucking her in the shower and its burned in my memory for life!
I will win that bet…I can feel it.
Talk to you tomorrow diary!
