I visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art today. Excellent place to go if you're looking for some fine female scenery. Not the 16th century nudes on the walls, but the 16-25 year olds in the halls. I only wish I could've “MET” some of them (New Yorker's joke).

So I've decided to go back to the museum in a few days. Only this time armed with some truly unique art museum pick-up lines. Let's crank a few out now, shall we?


“Sorry for staring, I thought your face was a work of art.”

“Baby you're so fine you could make an impression on MONET.”

“How bout you and me go downstairs and brush up on our strokes?”

(For sado-masochists) “I'd like to hang you up and nail you to the wall.”

“Are you the daughter of The David or did God finish sculpting perfection?”

“Are you a medium? Because I'd like to paint you on carpet.”

(For Webbie) “Girl, GIMME THAT PUSSSAY.”

(For ghetto black guys hitting on white girls) “Are you into monochrome? Because I'd love to use my charcoal to color us black and white.”

(For older guys hitting on younger girls looking at old European paintings of female nudes) “You know, back in the 16th century, this kind of thing was taboo. My how things change…”

Anyone else have suggestions? I promise to try EVERY one of them.