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Ladies, for most of you, there will come a point in your life when you will have to choose between either going out on a date with me or a convicted sex offender.
It can happen anywhere, anytime, and for just about any reason. From morning wood to Pedro's savior, these are the boners of our lives.
Attention ladies open to same-sex chemistry: one-night courses of study now available! Female professor, flexible hours, discreet enrollment.
The college experience isn't at universal as you think. Some campuses actually have RA's who care... and Asians!
The wise men might not have approved of a Red Ryder BB gun, but they certainly would have endorsed Jesus vs. Santa on pay-per-view.
Tired of the happy-go-lucky plot twist? Wish every movie could end like The Departed? Join the ranks of those disillusioned with Hollywood.
Everyone's in it for a reason, whether it's love, money or Facebook status. And if you're not sure, you're the annoying Indecisive Couple.
There's nothing understated about the way Americans celebrate July 4th. Get out of our way, we've got kegs and we're not afraid to drink them.
It is NOT OK if you do any of the following: stand in doorways, sit on the same side of the table as your girlfriend at a restaurant, travel in large packs to parties.
With entrees like those sweet, tender Honey BBQ Baby Backs and an endless supply of mouthwatering sides, there's no need for human relationships.
Thorough preparation is often the key to success. Of course, one's definition of "prepared" may vary greatly.
2007 was a shitshow, a debacle, and we loved every goddamn second of it, from tasers and iPhones to Britney Spears and Anna Nicole Smith.