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I used to be selfish and unconcerned with the plight of the unfortunate; that was back when I was a floppy-fingered liberal trying to "fight the power."
The moment you mispronounced "Szechuan chicken," all of reality froze as if someone had hit the pause button on existence.
One short series of poor vacation decisions later, and you ended up with a new shoulder dragon friend for life.
We sat down with 2016 for a frank, one-on-one discussion on everything from Harambe to Trump to gay rights.
Soon I'll be eliminating all life on Earth, and there's nothing I can do to change course unfortunately. Any questions?
Combines superior audio quality, advanced technology, and sterling highlights from Michael Keaton’s nearly 40 years in Hollywood!
Advice for easing your transition into death after choosing this dark, moody, and occasionally cost-effective alternative transportation.
Bjarne says that there are so many other guys out there with two arms that it puts you at a big disadvantage if you only have one.
In my haste to create a flesh-and-blood Dilbert, I took a few shortcuts which, in retrospect, were pretty big mistakes.
Mom, Dad, this is your official notice that you are no longer in charge of my childhood photos and videos. Please turn them over immediately.
Remember, every log you place on the fire would undoubtedly be screaming if it had a voice.
Many anti-Semites are also God-fearing Christians, whose savior is Jesus Christ. So how can they make peace between despising Jews and worshipping one?