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My niece is seven, and half-birthday parties are barely acceptable for her. And she’s a goddamn princess. Are you a princess, Lou?
We all know abortion is wrong. Bad. But sometimes the mother is so disgusting and fat from being pregnant, we really don't want that baby.
There are now 18 different colored bracelets that represent 139 different problems. Even Jay-Z can't rap about that much confusion.
Hello, it is me, your unholy host! I am here to answer the questions of the living, the dead, and the undead. Call in now while the moon is still full and the sun is yet to rise…
Many Americans are nervous that Donald Trump is violating long-held democratic norms. Here's how to navigate the ins and outs of your new, failed state.
The postage wouldn’t stop coming and my uncle moved us into a motel, but the wizarding world still found me.
There were days when it'd be hot outside and he'd wear a beanie, and not just a light one—stitched wool with snowflakes and reindeer patterns.
I've seen every dog under the sun (to my knowledge), so I thought why not deliver a little lesson in "Dog 101."
Mom wasn’t crazy about the idea of me dating thirty women at once. She said I’d practically be living with a "harem."
Hi, everybody. I’m Guy Fieri, and we’re rollin’ out, lookin’ for America’s greatest solved murders.
My kids look at me and feel empathy for my plight but relief that the task is not theirs. I'm going all the way into the residential abyss.
I will dispel the pseudo-socialist notion that the Messiah is from the same place as Wilmer Valderrama by shout-typing my evidence in your face.