Daily funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. Best of Year | Editors' Picks | People's Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
9. Vino Rosso (12-1) – Means "red wine" in Italian and "try-hard" in English.
And when you asked what this mysterious doppelgänger’s name was, your barber quickly said, “That? That’s, uh, Comb McScissors.”
One pound is equal to 7000 grains of barley. Yep, barley. Grains of wheat is a different calculation. And why 7000? Hey, it’s your system, don’t look at me.
I have communication issues? That's funny because in the eyes of the University of Illinois School of Communications, I am a master of communication.
Some of you have commented on social media asking, “Why are you an angry lesbian who’s trying to take a nice man’s place at the Congress? Also, fat.”
If a troll eats my head, how will I spread the message that wielding trolls is a God-given right?
Other topics conversation should focus on famous people you’ve worked with or in relative proximity to, and how long it took to get to the meeting.
Aristotle: “Man, when perfected, is the best of animals,/ but when separated from poppies and almond trees, he is the worst of all.”
Juan Baerga, ‘10, has only ever used what he learned from his $160,000 engineering degree in determining which piece to remove in Jenga.
Many think this is about how teachers are underpaid and have to buy their own school supplies. But did you know that women call make-up "supplies?"
I mean, dude, it's laid back, all this beautiful atmosphere and peace. But things are definitely moving in the right direction for me, thank god.
Frankly With Al Franken: Al Franken in a room, speaking frankly about political news. We know we shouldn’t want this to exist, but we quietly do.