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Wednesday: After pissing out 6 cups of coffee, 8 cups of orange juice, and a bottle of Gatorade, I collapsed in a state of near catatonia.
Why is everyone taking this so seriously? Don’t let anyone see you almost cry after two rounds of this warm-up or you’ll get pegged as whiney.
I am a robot whose contribution to popular culture burned bright but was brief. No one cares about Mars Rover anymore, because it's not 2003.
My dream came so close to fruition my senior year in college, when my roommate Jim and I started a “pop-thresh garage-inflected post-grunge” band.
Inside the envelope, you will find a series of riddles that you must answer in the languages in which they are provided. Spelling counts.
Once I’m on to videos I know there’s no going back and I’m going to hate myself for the rest of the afternoon.
The forces of nature want us to be together until we die or I get bored, and here "forces of nature" means things I deliberately orchestrated.
Circle With A Line: A symbol which has negative connotations, thanks to the Ghostbusters. If you put this on a face, it could be seen as “cancelling.”
Not many people know this, but my bees once stung the hell out of Mario Cuomo. That’s right, this horde of insects is a part of New York history.
Nearby, a woman shits in the street. This symbolism is unclear. But I’m grateful for the diverse and unique ways that others connect with God.
Sorry, I can’t join your ragtag militia of freedom fighters, Mr. Buendía, I’m busy fighting to free my mind of institutionalized perceptions of truth and justice.
Every morning, I wake up and eat a motivational quote for breakfast sprinkled with positive-flavored hemp seeds.