All day people make assumptions about me. When I go to work people assume, just because I drive an ice cream truck, that I must really love ice cream, or that I sell ice cream.

Outside of work, people make assumptions about small, material things. A guy gets out of a Bugatti and walks into the police station (no one is really talking about it right now but yes, even the police sometimes make assumptions about people) to report “suspicious activity” outside. Because of his perfectly tailored, pinstripe suit and expensive car, the police assume he's trustworthy and they drop everything to look into it. But when I walk in, wearing the exact same pinstripe suit, the cops assume that I'm the one the Bugatti guy was complaining about when he said “there's some suspicious activity, a guy outside is trying to steal my suit.”

Back in my own clothes, people on the street make more assumptions about me. The suit guy climbs back into his Bugatti and everyone assumes he's rich. But I, wearing a “Female Body Inspector” t-shirt and ball cap, get into a BMW, and people assume I'm stealing the car because I don't “look rich” or “have the keys.”

They also assume my t-shirt is some sort of joke and not a case of ‘dress for the job you want.'

When I give up on the BMW and walk to the store to buy a gift for my friend Kevin's party the store employees make their own assumptions; this time, based on my looks. The clerk sees my blonde hair and blue eyes and assumes I'm of Scandinavian descent, and the manager sees my blonde hair and blue eyes and assumes I'm some sort of thief because of what he saw on the security camera.

Even at Kevin's party, surrounded by friends, I'm not safe from assumptions. Kevin starts asking who invited me, assuming that someone invited me, not even considering that maybe I just happened to see the invitation when I accidentally typed in his user name and password when logging in to my email. He assumed I knew I wasn't invited after what happened last time with his wife.

Then, when I slink off as Kevin yells and makes a big scene in front of everyone, Kevin continues to make assumptions by assuming that I am leaving, not going to the other room for more spinach dip.

It's weird, sometimes a single person will assume contradictory things about you. For instance, over dinner with Darryl, a potential work colleague, I state that, “no matter what you've heard, I am in no way affiliated with the terror group ISIS.” Upon hearing this he assumes I'm dishonest and that I'm lying and he has all these follow-up questions. But then later he assumes I'm honest and telling the truth when I say something like, “I'll pay you back for dinner.”

My biggest pet peeve though is when someone automatically assumes the worst. Like when I call Darryl's wife to tell her that I gave Darryl a ride home because he'd had a few drinks at dinner, she assumes that I was sober. And when I tell her we were in a wreck and Darryl is in the hospital, she automatically assumes the worst even though we weren't even going that fast when we hit the water. Then, she turns around and assumes that I'm some sort of idiot for thinking I could make the jump if we “weren't even going that fast.” After I explain that it was Darryl who shouted “gun it” as the lift bridge was opening she says he probably assumed I knew he was joking. He assumed and I'm in the wrong?

Then Darryl's wife assumes that I'm making a pass at her while Darryl is unconscious even though I was clearly reaching for something behind her and I just slipped a little and also I thought she was giving out signals. Come on Darryl's wife, you sound just like Kevin's wife.