We get it. French Onion Soup is a winter classic, combining everything we like: caramelized onions, beefy broth, cheesy bread. Yum-my! And while it’s good every now and then, we’ve put together recipes to expand your palate this season.

German Shallot Stew

This European-style dish combines the sweetness of well-cooked shallots braised in beef drippings topped with a piece of sourdough and swiss–

Wait… this is a little too similar to French Onion Soup. No worries. We’ve got plenty more recipes!

Spicy Beef Udon

Nothing European here. Instead this delicious take on a Japanese staple combines thick noodles and scrumptious, bubbly broth you could just drink by itself. You might even remove the chunks of beef—they’ve been steeping long enough. Slurping away, you notice the noodles have changed color. Sweet and brown, you could swear they were almost…

Sorry. Let’s try something else.

A Ham Sandwich

An easy and satisfying-enough meal for any time of year. Yeah, that’s right. Just ham, cheese, maybe even a little mustard. Trust us, the first time you dip your spoon– Hands! The first time you pick up the sandwich with your hands, you won’t be able to stop sipping– Munching!

Damnit!

Jägermeister

What even is Jäger? Who cares? Anything to clear your head and warm you up as the snow falls outside, keeping intrusive thoughts out. (Or trapping them in?) Yeah, one shot is not enough. Take it to the next level with a Jäger bomb, dropping a glass into your nearby ramekin of French On–

Oh my god! What’s happening?!

A Big, Yellow Onion

You can’t bring yourself to remove the skin. Why can’t you remove the skin? You’ve never done anything like this before, but a strange voice in your head commands you: “take a bite.” You open your mouth to ask who’s there but are interrupted by the sound of a crisp, wet crunch. Your crunch. You talked a big game about learning new recipes. You thought this was growth.

Devouring the yellow onion, the voice reminds you: “you always knew it would end like this.”

French Onion Soup

You find yourself with no clothes, bathing and boiling in a ramekin, illuminated by a star of candles and unburdened by any notions of acceptable eating habits. The transfiguration has begun. Your nerves caramelize. Your brain blisters and sizzles in your skull. You surrender yourself to its embrace.

Garlic Bread

A rich and soothing blend of butter, herbs, and roasted garlic is the simple and comforting combination to make any winter night. In moderation, of course.


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