"George W. Bush"
(A man and a little boy are in a living room. Nothing sexual is going on between them. They are a father and a son.)
The father is staring at the tv or in that general direction, slouched down in his La-Z-Boy. He has an expressionless / emotionless look on his face. He almost appears to be staring right through the tv and not actually at it. The son looks sick and he is just staring off into the distance as well.
The boy starts rubbing his stomach and walks up to his father. The boy is probably seven years old, or somewhere around there. He has a malnutritioned-looking face.
Boy (in a whiney voice): "Dad, can I please have just one thing to eat? I'm starving!"
(I don't know if a seven year old would talk like that. Probably not.)
Father (shakes his head very slowly, and in a montone/tired/dull/slow voice says): "Not while George W. Bush is president…not while George W. Bush is president."
"I Don't Have Cable"
Some guys are in the breakroom of an office building, talking about the Super Bowl. A rather nerdy worker enters the breakroom and looks around nervously, seeing his mortal enemy, jocks.
Jock #1: "Oh hey ray boy did you see the Super Bowl last night?"
Ray: "Er, no…I don't have cable."
Jock #2: "The Super Bowl wasn't on cable, Ray, it was on ABC."
(Everyone laughs at Ray.)
Ray: "Oh…"
(Everyone continues laughing at Ray.)
(The preceding skits were taken from my old website where I wrote short skit scripts, filmed short sketch comedy videos, and wrote a full-length movie about Terri Schiavo, ToxicGreen.com)