College Quotes
"Santa Monica College is, like, so stupid. I mean, O to the M to the G, their slogan '#1 in transfers' is like totally telling the world that nobody wants to stay at their school. That's like Marketing 101: avoid negative publicity."
-From a sixth year senior at UCLA
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The Ol' Jesus Water into Wine Trick
Police Officer: Sir, what's in the bottle next to you?
JM: Water.
Police Officer: Sir, this is wine!
JM: What?! That Jesus is at it again!
-On scapegoating the Lord (our savior from underage drinking tickets)
