Prebirthers Demand to See Obama's Parent's Sex Tape

WASHINGTON—Just days after releasing his full birth certificate, President Barack Obama is under new attack by a skeptical group of citizens demanding to see the videotape of Barack Obama, Sr. and Ann Dunham having sex on or around November 4, 1961.

Barack Obama's parents
Above: Obama Sr. and Ann Dunham, shortly before what many skeptics call "Imblackulate Conception."

"Thanks to Donald Trump, birthers were successful in obtaining the president's long-form birth certificate, and afterbirthers, led by Alan Keyes, have obtained certified bits of his discarded placenta. But there is still no evidence that Obama, Sr.'s penis entered, and ejaculated into, Dunham's vagina—not even one grainy cell phone video," said conservative radio host and Prebirthers Anonymous spokesman Glenn Beck. "To say that the American people are satisfied with an obstetrician's note and a handful of fetoplacental goop is a far cry from reality. The majority of Americans will not rest until they see documented footage of the rhythmic thrusts of Barack Obama Sr.'s member into Ann Dunham's birth canal, preferably with a small amount of semen remaining on the withdrawn head for confirmation. Until this happens, you're going to see a lot of pent up aggression toward the president, and in general."

Born just three years after Obama, Beck noted that when his parents refused to release their sex tape, he rummaged around their bedroom until he found one at the back of the third dresser drawer. "The Vex Tape," as disgusted citizens have dubbed it, appears to have been filmed much more recently, however. Beck is not daunted though. "This issue is not about my parents and their tantric sex life, it is about supplying firm evidence that a black penis and a white vagina may have created an American president."

The White House has so far refused comment, though Press Secretary Jay Carney did release the following short-form sex tape to the media:

Barack Obamas's mom, Ann Dunham, naked in vintage photo




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GE's picture

Is Hawaii even a part of this country? I heard the title to Hawaii was never officially registered to the United States of America. Apparently, the currency exchange lost the title while in the process.

I heard that you are awesome

Why is it that american people seem to be totoal retards. Stupidity must be one of their glorious and highst values.....

GE's picture

Troll or fucking idiot? hmmm... Wait, got it... a fucking idiot that might also be a troll.

wow, ALL of these people are SO mad because their President, who THEY elected, is black. People are always talking about how President Obama did in college. Look at George Bush Jr. He couldn't do shit in college to make his way out of a paper bag. He got 2 terms in office. JFK, had an affair just like Clinton. Now everyone wants to see some bi-racial porn just to prove our president is who he has already proven he is. Tell you what, try your start for this "sex tape" at youporn.com. Maybe you will find what your looking for there.

This article is just a joke people, calm down... that's why the title of this blog is "Court Jesting"; whereas jesting is defined as: "Adj. 1. jesting - characterized by jokes and good humor"

you expect a typical Repuglican to know the definitions of big long words such as "jesting"?

Ashley Garmany's picture

I wanna see the soiled bedsheets and the positive pregnancy test.

where's the Placenta ?