Please Listen Carefully as Our Menu Options Have Changed, and Also I Have This New Screenplay Idea
For new patients, let me tell you about the opening scene. We fade in on a beach, sand caked with blood being washed away by the waves!
Tag: Writing
Six Seduction Tips So Saucy They’ll Convince Your Husband to Murder the King of Scotland
Consider swinging with a witch: The best way to do this is by mentioning that you saw them from across the bog, and you really dig their vibe.
You Ain’t from ‘Round These Parts, Are You? Best Subscribe to My Newsletter, Pard
I’ll tell you this about Carson City, pard: if’n you wanna survive on these wild plains, best thing you can do is subscribe to my newsletter.
If Henry David Thoreau Had a Goofy Sidekick at Walden Pond
"Dude, I heard you were doing the transcendental thing so I brought you a six pack and a slew of magazines of an... Umm... Delicate nature!"
A Northern Writer Writes a Southern Story
Pa was hard at work at his moonshine-still turning cotton into cotton gin. Grandpa was reading the paper. The paper was also Southern.
Other Pluralizations for Fans of “Attorneys General”
You're going to love taking phrases like "rodeos clown" and "bottlenoses dolphin" out for a spin!
Wirecutter Reviews: the Circles of Hell
Providing difficult choices among terrible options is—like with cable TV—in keeping with Hell’s overall philosophy of customer dissatisfaction.
I Thought I Was Reporting a Simple Story About Pothole Repairs—I Couldn’t Believe I Was Right
If there wasn’t something more to it, I would be pretty bored and not have a good shot at turning it into a series of Pulitzer Prize-winning articles.
Did You Write a Poem About Your Grandmother’s Comb? Open Calls from Rad Litmags That Want to Hear from You
SPLERT seeks original, unpublished work from poets who grew up in Potomac, Maryland but tell people they are from "Rockville."
How to Judge a Book, If Not by Its Cover
Does the book have THE new book smell? Does it have THAT old book smell?
My Metamorphosis into a Monstrous Vermin Went Pretty Great, Actually
“I know you mean well, Dad,” my sister said. “But these days, it’s considered more polite to say ‘enormous insect’ rather than ‘monstrous vermin’.”
Despite a Shockingly Low Number of Applicants, You Somehow Did Not Get This Residency
If there was ever a year for you to slip through and get this relatively prestigious residency, it would have been this one.