Jeffrey Dahmer’s Sister Picks Up Printing
OK, I'm just going to address that you've been sort of frozen and scared ever since I said Jeffrey Dahmer is my brother. I get it.
Tag: Writing
Superintendant Declare’s English Most Less Important School Subject
The Supernentendent said theirs lots too think about but its a clear choice to remove English if they will remove a class
‘Tis True Friar Lawrence Be Mired in the Deaths of Many a Verona Youth, Yet, Verily, I Am Fond of His Herbal Teas
’Tis not with ease’d mind that I imbibe of the Friar’s herbaceous blends, be it “Rosaline’s Unrequited Rosehip” or “Zounds! This Lemon Zingeth!”
Aphorisms from the Notebook of a Guy Who Is Really into Cured Meats
The journey of a thousand ham slices begins with a single cut of the deli slicer.
King Kong’s One-Star Tripadvisor Review of the Empire State Building
Look, airplanes shouldn’t be constantly flying around a building in the first place.
What Writers Are Like, Based on Stock Photos of Writers
A scribe’s only acceptable wardrobe is a good collared shirt or sensible cardigan, or a collared shirt under a sensible cardigan.
Everything Is Fucked Up Right Now, but I Know What the World Needs: a Think Piece About Wordle
I have to throw in some buzzwords that make eyes glaze over—“pandemic winter,” “lockdown ennui,” and “cultural zeitgeist” should do the trick.
Jay Gatsby Tweets About Bitcoin
@JayGatsby: If getting rich off #Bitcoin is bootlegging then lock me up, old sport.
Mind Your Dots: A Public Service Announcement on the Responsible Use of Ellipses
According to the Society for Appropriate Punctuation, the global supply of ellipses reached critically low levels during the last quarter of 2021.
An Open Letter to Adam McKay About My Own Script, a Heavy-Handed Allegory for the Iran-Contra Affair
There’s something else rapidly becoming the defining issue of our time: the 1985 Iran-Contra affair. And goddamn, I’ve written a movie about it.
Famous Authors Firing You from Your Job
Ernest Hemingway For Hire: Competent Shoes, Never Filled
You Can’t Judge a Book by Its Cover, Because They All Just Have the Same Colorful Blobs These Days
It can be tempting to rely on labels, especially when those labels are in stylish sans serif capitals artfully nestled among the colorful blobs.